Sit and be educated
My name is Colonel Mustard Huffington Lux. I realize that's quite the astounding name, but since I am quite the astounding canine, it serves me well. My "owners" or those who foolishly claim any authority over me, found my initial given name of Dominique rather silly, so my Boy decided upon Colonel Mustard, after the popular Clue board game character. Clue is the favorite game of my Girl. I am a German Miniature Dachshund, a breed of hound more commonly known to the peons by the term "wiener dog." Through my research I have discovered that mustard is a condiment commonly used on frankfurters, or wieners, a tubed meat dish that shares a passing resemblance to my breed. It is apparent the Boy is making light of my stature, and I have no doubt he thinks himself quite clever in this instance. He will be punished for his insolence.
As one with servants such as these, my patience is tried time and time again. It is so very difficult to find proper waitstaff in this day and age. I repeatedly huff my displeasure at the Boy and the Girl when my needs are not met, and do they respond with prompt service? No! Instead they mock me with the middle name of Huffington! They shall be punished for these insults, the both of them. Click on the links above to learn more of how my servants callously neglect me.